Hello my friends, and happy Trans joy Thursday!

I'm not going to lie, today's newsletter is riddled with heavy feelings - yesterday was the 3 month mark of losing my Memaw, and I spent a lot of time yesterday reflecting on her life, our memories we made, and honestly? Just being sad and in mourning. It was definitely a heavy day, and some of that heaviness is still lingering.

With that said, I'm continuing to write to you today, because I want you to be reminded that in the face of heavy grief and feelings, there is still joy to be found. It may not feel like it, but it's there. We may have to spend a lot longer locating it, but it can be found. It reminds me of my transness - it took me a long time (roughly 30+ years) to come home to myself and feel authentically me - but as time passes, we evolve and we change. We find what makes us, us. And then we lean into it! And that, to me, is the epitome of why I write this newsletter every week. To intentionally lean in to the joys I found over the past week. To be a reminder to yourself that you are ALLOWED to be joyful in spite of the dumpster fire that may be around you. May you live in spite of this week, and every tomorrow after. You deserve that.

Some things that have brought me joy this week at a quick glance are:

1. My oldest auditioned last week for his first ever school play/musical, got a call back, and then was offered a role! He sang me a brief part of a song he will be singing and it just made my day. I love the arts (clearly) and I'm so proud that he has found something he enjoys doing. We must protect the arts at all costs so children for generations to come can have the pure excitement that he does about his play.

2. I received my signed/personalized copy of Cemetery Boys: Espiritu and it just lifted my spirits immensely that I get to immerse myself back into that story once more.

3. I get to see Don Martin IN GREEN BAY, this Saturday for his book Verity Vox And The Curse Of Foxfire. I am so excited because authors hardly come here, they usually go to Milwaukee or Madison, especially the queer authors, so I'm super stoked to get the chance to see him!

4. My pre-order from Tuma's Books of Elizabeth Acevedo's Anger Is Only A Shadow is supposed to arrive today and I cannot wait to read the physical copy - although, she narrates the audiobook, and she deserves all the awards for that!

5. I'm slowly beginning to get back into journaling again, and although it looks different for me right now, I'm still journaling, and that's still a win!

6. The weather is slowly getting cooler and our windows have been open for about a week, and I just love this time of year. It's truly my favorite.

I hope you all find moments of joy today - this week. I hope you find ways to honor yourself, your griefy/heavy feelings, and you get to relish in who you are as a human and your authenticity.

I hope you truly lean in to your joy and protect it at all costs. You deserve that for yourself.

I hope you all have a wonderful Thursday.

With all my trans joy,

Sawyer Cole

Happy Trans Joy Thursday, my friends!

I have so much to be thankful for this week in the bookish space, and I'm often reminded of that fact. I never want to take it for granted how amazing it is to receive books for free. I've been doing this since May of 2020, so for 6 years, I've been reading publicly - which has transformed to what it has become now - a Bindery, to which I hope one day will lead to becoming an imprint to publish our very own Not A Phase Books books. There's so many things behind the scenes I want to bring to life, and as I sit here and look at this week's book haul, I'm kind of ... emotional? I love this space, truly, and all of you who are along for the ride, too.

This week I received Mateo Askaripour's 2027 release of Pure Ox, with such a beautiful inscription inside to me. It left me in literal tears, sincerely. What a magnificent person Mateo is. I will be starting it soon. I also received a PR box, of Sonido Reyes' upcoming release of To Our Untamed Core, with some amazing goodies, which not only is it our Q4 book club pick, we'll also be speaking with Sonido in November! I also pre-ordered Aiden Thomas' book Cemetery Boys: Espiritu, and it will be signed and personalized... I just got the e-mail today that is has shipped... So now I wait by my window every day for the mail person to deliver my goods!

I wrote about this in Coming Home, but books will always be my first great love, my forever friends. Books have been there through my darkest times, and my happiest of times - literally, Alisha and I eloped in a bookstore and used our very first (queer) buddy read, One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston, as a prop! One day we will own a signed copy... until then, I continue to dream.

This week also marks the first week of school for my children, and if you're a parent, you know that while it is bittersweet to see them grow up, having a quiet house is also joyful. lol. I work second shift, so when Alisha goes to work/school and the kids go to school... I'm left with me time before work, which is a necessity for me. Summers are brutal because I don't get that. Sooo... I'm relishing in my routine being here again to recharge. It also hinders my creativity when I don't get enough me time to recalibrate.

With that said.. I'm looking ahead to 2027 because.. I'm nothing if not a planner. What are some books you'd like to read? While I can't divulge too much until I know for certain, I'm hoping I have Q1, in addition to our Behind The Book chat covered. So, stay with me as I wait for a response for that. Are monthly Beyond The Rainbow chats too much for you? Do you want me to speak to a particular author/person? What are you vibing with? I want to keep this space a place where LGBTQIA+ voices are amplified, celebrated, and also a place of encouragement to explore your own identity and gender in a safe community. Let me know in the comments your thoughts.

As always, the discussions are also welcomed in our Discord server always. We do body doubling, which holds me accountable to stop doom scrolling and do the things, we talk our book club books, general chats, food, music, etc. It's truly a welcoming community to discuss life and books, while also living authentically. I hope to see you over there if you aren't already.

As a reminder, we are speaking with DR. Kiki Fehling TONIGHT from 6-7pm CST about their book The LGBTQ+ Mental Health Workbook and I'd love to see you all there! I will post the zoom details at the bottom of this newsletter. I have also posted an event reminder in our Discord server, and in the appropriate channel there, as well.

As always, I hope you all find some trans joy today.
See you all tonight!

With all my trans joy,

Sawyer Cole

BEYOND THE RAINBOW CHAT ZOOM INFORMATION:

Sawyer Cole (They/Them) is inviting you to a scheduled Zoom meeting.

Topic: Beyond The Rainbow w/ Dr. Kiki Fehling
Time: Sep 3, 2026 06:00 PM Central Time (US and Canada)
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